Week 1 of the Covid-19 quarantine is finished and to be honest, it has been a struggle for me. Pressure, nerves, frustration, and anxiety have come to the surface and I know I am not alone. In today’s post, I share my unfiltered feelings and the lessons I have learned about myself as a woman, wife, and mom this past week.
A Feelings Yo-yo
To say I have been on an emotional rollercoaster is an understatement. Fear, security, frustration, love, humor and desperation all felt in under 15 minutes. My feelings are not founded in the fear of getting or being sick with the virus but instead are stemming from my new role as a mom and wife. Every responsibility I have for my family has been exponentially increasing this week and I am feeling (and sometimes buckling under) the pressure.
I Don’t Like to Share
My kids and husband are home, we are spending maximum quality time together as a family, everything should be sunshine and rainbows for this mama right? Umm, not quite. I found out this week I have a problem sharing. You see, I was used to my time alone during the day. I did errands, house cleaning, blog posts, workouts, devotional, and more, during the school time hours. Then when my family came home from school and work, they had my undivided and whole-hearted attention. But this week, MY time and MY space has been invaded and I wasn’t ready for it.
A, B,C isn’t easy as 1,2,3
Becoming a school teacher and facilitator literally overnight has been tough. I applaud my children’s teachers with all the resources, work study programs, Zoom calls, and lesson plans they coordinated so well and on such short notice. I know this is an uncharted method of teaching for them but as a mom, I am feeling a huge responsibility to make sure I don’t drop the ball on my children’s education. Each home school day is a struggle signing into different apps, resources, digital libraries and virtual classrooms and I have lost my cool, a lot. Not to mention each child asking me 13 different questions and needing my help all at the same time.
Talk About It
After I found myself on my hands and knees crying from the pressure and anxiety while I was folding laundry, I realized my feelings were too big to keep inside and handle on my own. So I did what every girl does when she’s upset, I called my mom. It felt so good to say these emotions and fears out loud because they immediately lost their power. I shared my feelings with two close mom friends of mine whom I adore. Their honest words of care, encouragement and love helped so much. Then I became more vulnerable and shared with a larger group of awesome moms from my son’s baseball team what I was feeling and found out so many of them were also struggling with their new roles. I was not alone.
So Now What
Week 2 is on the horizon and I have a new game plan to help me cope better this week.
- Loosen the schedule – don’t feel pressured to get a certain chore/responsibility done at or by a certain time
- Resources & Passwords – make a master list of each child’s sign in passwords for their digital learning resources so I don’t have to keep scrambling and searching to find them
- Take a “Mommy Time-out” – I gave myself a 45 minute timeout on Thursday and Friday afternoon where I couldn’t be talked to or bothered unless there was blood or fire. It was so freeing and recharging and I plan to have a “time-out” everyday next week
- Play, Be Silly, & Celebrate the Small Things – find more intentional moments to smile and laugh and find the good things in life with my sweet family
- Persevere – times will tough, times will be fun, times will be easy, and times will be hard but I will not give up
Do I have it altogether? No. But I hope that by being vulnerable and sharing my feelings and the lessons I learned, I can help others find, express and acknowledge theirs also. Let me know how you are doing in the comments below. Hang in there guys, we got this!
